Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Ch ch cha changes!

Today is a day of change again. My psychiatrist and I decided to try a new anti-depressant. Although the process freaks me out, I understand and need this change. My doctor believes that being able to function isn't the only thing that we should focus on. I should be happy, not just functioning. So after increasing the dosages on my previous meds and not seeing any benefits, we decided to change. Change scares the crap out of me. As the sole income earner in the household, the thought of trying a new med makes me worry that it could affect not just myself, but the Hubs and the zoo. What if I get super depressed - worse than I already am? (even though you couldn't tell by just looking at me) I've missed a lot of work this month due to my body falling apart. Oh, I don't think I've talked about that yet, so we'll put a pin in it and I'll go back to that in a minute. So as it currently stands, missing any more work this month will lead to a lack of grocery and gas money next month. Unless my awesome bosses decide to surprise us with a Christmas bonus again this year, but I'm expecting it. 

I've already talked to my coworkers, and they are watching for any weird actions on my part, because besides Hubs, they are the ones that would notice anything. I realized that I wasn't as open with the employees at my last company, so it feels really good to be able to rely on others to notice things I might not. My hope is that the new meds work and don't throw me off kilter. Doc expects to start noticing differences within the first week, so I've got a couple of days to go before I might see any difference. So far today is good, so that's a great start.

Now back to the falling apart. When a cold front came through a little over a week ago, my back decided it didn't want to work anymore. I couldn't stand, let alone walk around. I was in tears just getting out of bed. Painkillers and muscle relaxants weren't doing any good. Hubs found a heating blanket and I started lying on it when I'm home. It helps a little - not enough to get out of bed, but enough to stop crying, so that's nice. A wonderful friend of mine has loaned me a walker and wheelchair, so I have a way to get around. Although I hate admitting that I'm rolling around in a wheelchair, it's much better than lying in bed all day. 

I've written a second post talking about the diet changes I've been making, so look out of that tomorrow! Have a great Thanksgiving! Gobble gobble :)


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