Thursday, May 22, 2014

My PCOS group is movin' on up!

In the last several years of running a support group, I've brainstorm ideas to spread awareness of our group and cause. What good is a support group if you can't find it?

- I've thought about flyers and brochures at doctor's offices, but ease of distribution was the issue. I didn't want to have to send people into Dr. offices and ask if they didn't mind putting up flyers. But yesterday I figured out the solution. Get a ton of free business cards, give them to all the girls in the group, and let them hand out cards to anyone and everyone they feel would benefit - including asking their doctor to leave a stack of cards for other patients. Quick, simple, and it doesn't require printing a bunch of flyers. I can get 250 cards free on, which is exactly what I am going to do! I created several options and posted photos in our group to let them decide which one is the best. I love the choice made! I've been buying stuff from VistaPrint for years - anything from business cards to keychains, sticky notes to car magnets. They have a little bit of everything, and even have great personalized holiday items. They continue to be one of my favorite websites to buy from!

- I also finally decided to set up an email address for the group as well. I can use it in lots of places to advertise. I'll be adding it to the new cards as well. I've waited a while because I wanted to make sure I had time to respond quickly. But now that I have have two additional admins, it was time to get it up and running. All the admins have access to it so we shouldn't have any issues with response times.

I'm really proud of our little group - all 63 of us! I was ecstatic just to see our membership hit 10, let alone 60! I'd love to keep it growing because with more people, we could do so much more!

We'll be getting together to paint this weekend for our monthly meetup. Can't wait to post some pictures!

Thursday, May 15, 2014

I forgot how good being happy felt

Surprise! I decided to change my blog name. Don't worry, the URL hasn't changed :) It's been a little over a week since we finished the move to our new place. I wanted to give you an update on my resulting mental status.

I've been so much happier this week. We love the apartment. Spike has calmed down a little with the barking. I haven't cried. I'm not upset about having a smaller kitchen. I enjoy knowing that I don't have room to buy more things. I have more money to do fun things, like buy Groupons for bowling & batting cages, concert tickets, etc. I know that we haven't been here long, but I am really starting to feel happy again. I LOVE IT! I've certainly missed this happy feeling and I can't wait for it to continue as time goes on.

I went to Sprouts last night and got lots of organic fruits and veggies that I can snack on throughout the coming few weeks. Grass fed beef was on sale for super cheap, so my freezer is stocked. I'm going to start cooking again once I finish getting the kitchen organized. I get to start being creative with my food and it sounds so fun!

I've already started making plans for ourselves and with friends - bowling with another couple and a concert with the Hubs in a couple of weeks. I've got two more concerts this summer that I plan to go to as well. I'm looking forward to getting back to a point where I can hang out with friends all the time. I used to be spontaneous, and I'm going back that direction.

We had to put 4 new tires on the car, so we don't have a lot of extra money to spend this month, but that'll change. As I start going through the boxes in the apartment and in storage, I'll be working to get rid of more stuff that I don't really need.

Things are starting to look up and I really needed it. Now to just work towards getting off some of my anti-depressants!

Monday, May 12, 2014

Accepting life

I seriously love It would be awesome to get paid for talking about them so much. Alas, that's not why I'm writing. I'm writing because yet another article hit home today. It's about acceptance. Learning to accept reality has been difficult for me in the past few years. I didn't want to accept that my husband can't have a biologically related child. I didn't want to accept that my life was headed down the wrong path, into a deeper, darker hole than I've ever been in before. I didn't want to accept that children just aren't in the cards for us for a while, if ever. I didn't want to accept that the plans I had for my life weren't feasible. I didn't want to accept that I was going to have to give up on a long-standing dream. Most recently, I didn't want to accept that I was a hoarder.

Acceptance is hard. It doesn't just happen. It takes work. It takes effort. And most of all, it takes hope. That seems counter-intuitive; at first glance, acceptance is giving up hope. And pessimistic people will see it that way. I saw it that way. In some cases, hope can be interchanged with faith. Example: If your mom died, part of accepting that she is gone is the belief that one day you'll see her again in heaven. You have faith that God exists and heaven is real - and that faith helps you accept that her Earthly body is gone, but maybe in spirit she isn't. Obviously my religious views are different than most, and I don't believe that heaven or Hell exists, so I don't have the luxury of believing that I'll meet a dead family member ever again. My acceptance of death is different than others. But death isn't what I want to focus on today.

The article has 5 main points about acceptance.

1. Acceptance does not mean liking, wanting, choosing, or supporting.

2. Acceptance is an active process. It must be practiced.

3. Acceptance doesn't mean that you can't work on changing things.

4. Acceptance doesn't mean you're accepting is going to be that way forever.

5. We can practice acceptance toward our experience, people, appearance, emotions, ideas, and more.

I haven't decided that I like the idea of never having kids. I hate the situation, but I have accepted that I can't have that dream right now. I can continue to work towards that goal. I can hope that in the future, I'll have changed what's necessary in order to have kids. But today, I can't. Today I'm an aunt and a child-free wife. I remind myself that I have plenty of time to become a mom. I don't have to worry about it right now. I can enjoy being a 20-something. Accepting the possibility of not having children doesn't mean it'll always be like this. We could get a call one day from a friend that is pregnant and wants us to adopt. The future is uncertain.

I don't like that I have admitted I'm a hoarder, but I accept that at this point I am. I know that I can change my situation. I can teach myself to let go of unnecessary items. I can get rid of that project I started years ago that still isn't finished. I can trash that 7th grade yearbook I've been dragging around. I've accepted that I have too much crap (especially after this last move that almost killed me.) I may be a hoarder today, but I don't have to stay that way. I can work on changing my view of worldly items while still accepting my current situation.

My new goal for the rest of the year is to become more accepting of people, situations and emotions I can't control. 

Saturday, May 10, 2014

A chapter comes to an end....

And a new one begins!

We are finally finished moving. It was a long and painful process, but it's over. We leased our new apartment over a week in advance to the end of our lease in order to have plenty of time to move. Over the first weekend we got the big furniture out and moved all the necessities to the new place. Over the next week we would go back to the old place and pack a little more, usually things we needed that hadn't made it over yet. Last Saturday we had planned to get more packing and moving done, and we could finish up on Sunday and have some time to clean. When I finally woke up at 7 pm Sat evening, I knew that plan was shot. We got started as soon as we could on Sunday. Mom helped and we worked our tails off until we couldn't move anymore. I posted requests for help on Facebook throughout the day trying to find help, but all my calls went unanswered. I took off work Monday to keep packing in the hopes that we would finish without having to pay for another day. We didn't finish. So we paid for another day, I got a few hours in at work, then hitched a ride home with a coworker that volunteered to help out for a few hours. We also finally got help from Hubs' little brother Tuesday evening and his stepsister after midnight. We moved the last boxes out of the house 15 minutes before the office opened Wednesday. We didn't get to vacuum. I tried but it was so clogged with dog hair that it had no suction. I didn't have the time to clean it out, so we left without cleaning. I'm expecting a large bill for damage, but I'll deal with it when it comes.

As Mom and I attempt to leave with the last load, the truck refuses to start. We've had issues like this before, with the battery dying. My grandfather would just take it to Auto Zone and get it recharged. Our first thought was to jump start the truck with our car. Then we remembered that our car has a side-terminal battery and the truck is top-terminal. They are not compatible for a jump start. We called up AAA and had them send a guy out for assistance. 20 minutes later, Mike from Armada Towing was there to help us out. He ran a test and found that the battery was deader than dead. He dropped in a new battery and we were good to go.

We got everything unloaded at our new place by 10:30 am. Then Hubs had to take his stepsister back home so she could get some sleep before she had to get to work. We were all so exhausted and in pain. I ended up having to take Wednesday off to sleep. But it was over. The storage units were packed full and the floor in our new place is covered with boxes, but it was finished. And the thought felt great.

After I woke up from a long nap Wednesday, I was still in a lot of pain and painkillers weren't doing anything. I decided to try an Epsom salt bath. I've been told by lots of people that they are great. My grandmother takes one after every massage, my massage therapist suggested that I do it as well, and over the years it's been a popular suggestion for pain. I've taken them before but have never seen the benefits. After doing a little research to make sure I was using enough, I discovered my problem. We've always had a 1/4 cup scoop in the container. I used to put one or two scoops in. The actual recommended amount was 2 cups! I had never used enough. After using the right amount, I was amazed that my pain eased, and I didn't stay in as long as I would have liked. So when Hubs and I went grocery shopping, I picked up a couple of bags. I'll take all the pain relief I can get! Today I read a post on Barre3's blog about my dear friend Annie, and I was surprised to learn that she does an Epsom salt bath every night!

I was right about the weight being lifted from my shoulders after we turned the keys in. I don't dread going home anymore. I realize that because of the lack of sleep I've had this week, I could be headed for a manic episode. I might get depressed again. But for now, I'm living in the moment. I'm going to take each day as it comes. No assumptions about the future, no worries about the past. I'm going against everything my dad taught me by not focusing on the big picture. But I've been stressed out about that to such a degree that I wasn't living at all. I'm not saying that I'm never going to focus on the big picture again. I just need a break and a chance to overhaul my reality.

I'll keep you updated about my physical and mental health as the weeks go by.

Friday, May 9, 2014

May Goals!

I can't believe it's already 5 months into the new year. It has gone so fast. And since it's a new month, I'm ready for new goals! 

But first... How did I do last month?

April Highlights:
- Organize and decide what large items will be making the move - Yep! 
- Finish packing everything Yep! Not exactly the way I wanted to, but it still got done (come back tomorrow for the full story)
- Start taking things we won't be moving into the new apartment to storage unit - Yep!
- Surprise my niece at another t-ball game - Nope. We missed it because of our move, but there's another game next weekend!
- Continue to increase my usual work hours - Sorta. 
- Clean and repair any issues that could lessen our returned security deposit - No. Oops. 
- Get rid of all the crap in the pantry Pretty much! I trashed a lot of stuff I've had forever. I found a box of mac and cheese that expired in 1998. WTF? I don't know how that has always slipped through the cracks and made the move.

Overall, April's goals went great! And now that the move is over and we get to start fresh, I need some new goals!

May Goals:
- Unpack and organize the boxes in our new place
- Get Hubs' wisdom tooth removed
- Get Spike to the groomer!
- See my niece's last t-ball game of the season and her sister's cheer-leading uniform for the first time!
- Check out the fitness center in the complex
- Go get a rec center membership

Sounds pretty non-stressful, thank goodness! After last month, I'm ready for a calm, easy month!

Are you going to join in and post your May goals? Let's see them!  

Monthly Goals