Infertility Awareness Week is coming up, and even though I typically write some post for it, I don't want to do that this year. What's my reasoning? I'm continually finding reasons why I should not be a mom. Health issues, money, overall life changes.... So this post is about why I'm OK not being a mom. I've written many posts about why I want to be a mom. This is the opposite side of the coin. It's surprising how your plans, ideas, dreams, change as times goes on. I remember my dad telling me that I should get too attached to a boy because my life would change by the time I was 25. What I wanted as a teenager wouldn't be what I wanted in my life after I got older.
He was right. I wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 25. Now, here I am, 26, married, no kids, great job, and the last year has really showed that I've changed. I don't cry about our infertility anymore. I can play with babies and not be upset that I'm going home without them. I'm sure my meds are helping me think clearer, and that's a really good thing.
So here are my reasons why I'm starting to be okay childless.
- Less money spent on food
- No giant birthdays or Christmases
- Ability to make crazy decisions, like moving into an efficiency to save money
- Less gas costs because we don't have to have a bigger car. We could even get a two-seater if we didn't have a dog lol
- Don't have to worry about finding a babysitter for date night
- we don't have to plan kid-friendly vacations
- No worries about getting kids to school on time, no dealing with their teachers.
- Less stress about having enough money
- No one tries to wake me up in the middle of the night
- Never have to worry about being in too much pain to take care of kids
- No need to stop medications in order to be preggo or to breastfeed
- No need to baby-proof our home
- More time and money to volunteer with charities
- Only have to worry about Hubs or I getting sick
I could make this list longer - but I think I've made my point. I still love babies and kids, I just don't need any of my own to be happy. James is still coming to terms with not being a parent anytime soon, but I didn't change overnight and neither will he. I've been working on changing my life to be happier in the present. It's been a long road, but I can finally feel some relief about our situation. Maybe we'll have kids in the future. Maybe we won't. I'm not completely over being child-less, but I'm not as weepy about it as I used to be.
Are you child-less? Did you choose to be, or did your situation force you to be? What have you done to change your attitude?