The new medication is fabulous - although Hubs and I have been wondering if it's not actually helping, but sending me into a manic episode instead. It's very hard for me to be upset about this, because when I'm manic, things around the house get done, I spend more time hanging out with friends, I watch less tv, I cook more, and some other less appropriate things to discuss :) But Hubs knows when a manic episode goes from being helpful to dangerous, so he is watching me very closely. The first time I seem a little bit too impulsive, angry, violent, or way out of the ordinary, he'll let me know, and I'll call the doc. But it was nice to hear when he said "Welcome Back". I haven't been this happy and felt this good in a really long while, and I don't want it to end. My bestie came over last weekend and we got almost the entire house cleaned. For those of my friends who have been to my house, you'd be shocked. Like, you've only seen this happen a couple of times in the past decade.
In the past I've tried to downsize my kitchen supplies, because I've got the equipment, plates, cups and bowls to feed a friggin' army. But that always caused problems for me, because if I had clean dishes, I wouldn't wash the old ones. So I made a drastic decision and trashed literally every piece of plastic from my kitchen. No more tupperware, crappy cups, etc. I have been wanting to convert to glass for over a year because it's healthier, and my sister's gift of mason jars really helped. I still have my pots and pans because I just can't part with them, but the serious reduction in plastic has been a huge relief already.
The relationship between Hubs and I has blossomed in ways I never thought posible, because of a personal decision we made to do something really unusual per today's relationship expectations. It'll be a little while before I'm willing to openly discuss our changes, but one day I just might feel like admitting to it haha.
So what revelations did I have in 2014 that will totally change 2015?
- I'm vegetarian, headed for vegan. I realized that I love all animals, and hate knowing that I'm eating an animal that didn't deserve/need to die or be tortured to satisfy my hunger. There are plenty of plants, seeds and nuts that provide everything I need without hurting animals at all. And along with this change has come more of an understanding of my body. I'm learning how my body reacts to different substances, and it's making my decision to change my life even easier. I keep getting told or asked the same things - "That's so hard! How do you make sure you get protein? Are you eating enough? How can you eat so restrictively?" This isn't a restriction. If anything, it allows me to break
free from the expectations that I need a big portion of meat to feed me. I've been vegetarian for almost 3 months now, and I haven't felt upset or hungry because I'm not eating meat. In fact, I actually love this change. And it's cheaper on my pocketbook!
- I do not need an arbitrary date to change my life. Thanks to Leann at Healthful Pursuit, I am learning that every second is an opportunity for change. I don't need to get mad at myself for eating bad. I just forget about it and move on. I don't have to just give up and start another day. It's the simplest thing I've ever learned, and I wish that I had incorporated it years ago. But - no regrets - change starts right this second :)
- The desire and willingness to change my life has to come from within. I can't do it for anyone else. I want to change for myself. I want to feel healthier, be happier with the way I look, and love life.
- I love myself - no matter what. I'm awesome just the way I am. I might have some things I want to change, but that doesn't mean I don't love myself right now. And more than ever, some of the changes I have made in my relationship with Hubs have solidified this new self-love.
I'm looking forward to the next year. Are you?