Thursday, October 31, 2013

Blessed Samhein and Happy Anniversary!

Happy Halloween! Have a Blessed Samhein! And happy anniversary to me and Hubs!

It's my favorite day of the year. And my plan for Samhein? To burn negative thoughts and habits, to create healthy goals and resolutions, getting ready for a new year! For pagans, Samhein is the end of the year. The end of the harvest. The day to celebrate our ancestors. The beginning of winter.

For our anniversary? I don't know. Usually I've got things all planned out, but I ended up having to work today, so I don't get to spend as much time at home.
I am still taking tomorrow off so we can do whatever.

The day hasn't started out well, though. Hubs' phone was stolen and turned off so it can't be tracked. His little sister is in he hospital, delivering her baby. Hubs is really taking the news hard, because it should have been us instead of her. I agree, but there's nothing I can do except ignore the situation. She doesn't talk to us anyway, so that's not too hard. He's just not emotionally ready for a niece/nephew, even if he's not going to see her/him. I don't think any of his friends, with or without kids, really understands what's going on. Hell, they might not even give a damn. I hate seeing him so sad and upset.

Anywho, enough about the crap. Today I need to be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Random thoughts about the week

Next week is going to be eventful... Our 6 year dating anniversary is Tuesday. My grandmother goes in for her 3rd back surgery in 3 years on Wednesday (and she almost died last time, so I'm on edge). Our 4 year wedding anniversary and Halloween is Thursday. My 4-day anniversary workless weekend starts Thursday as well. We haven't really decided what we are doing for our anniversary, but I took time off anyways. We might just go see Carrie at the movies.

Yesterday I started ACE, an appetite suppressant and energy booster. A friend of mine sells it and sent me samples. Work seemed to go faster yesterday, and I didn't eat a whole lot. Today I had my massage therapy appt (an hour and a half of bliss and healing, oh so necessary in my life), and instead of being tired afterwards, I'm awake and thinking about what I want to do with my time. I'm working a half day, then going home and maybe I'll go to the park and walk. The weather is beautiful today.

I also started green coffee bean extract, which I have noticed as a primary ingredient in a lot of weight loss supplements. I started them about 5 days ago, but have eaten a lot of chocolate since then, so I'm not getting on the scale yet. I figured I'd do that once every other week.

I've got a lot of cooking to do, though, so I might skip the walk and give myself more time to cook. I'm prepping some meals before the produce goes bad. Crock pot green bean and asparagus casserole with homemade mushroom soup, Sauteed asparagus and mushrooms with goat cheese on gluten free yummy breakfast bagels, baked chicken for salads, and whatever else I come up with. I'm going to do more prepping over the weekend when I have more time, but I'm going to get started with the produce that won't last as long. I already lost my tatsoi, sadly. Maybe I'll get more in next week's box. I am going to commit to prepping once a week for the food the rest of the week. That way even when I don't want to do anything, I can just grab something out of the fridge.

Whenever I get paid, I like to buy things online. It's kind of because every time we get the mail and there's a package, it feels like my birthday. What better reason that making yourself happy? Hubs sent me a pic of what was in the mail today - 4 boxes! I don't even remember what they all are, but I'll find out later tonight when I open them :) I know that my new polka dot phone case is in one, and new Halloween rubber ducks for Hubs' collection are in another.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Spend a few moments Happifying your life!

Several months ago I was given the opportunity to beta test a new program called Happify. It's designed to help you become happier with your life, and has plenty of studies to back up their science. I've been using it, although not as faithfully as I should. But I really have enjoyed testing out a lot of the different tracks to choose from. This week,  Happify ent out of beta testing and is now open to the public. There are a lot of free tracks you can choose from, as well as some others you can get by upgrading to a paid membership.

I recommend  Happify o everyone I know that needs a little pick me up from day to day. It has been helping me find my way towards satisfaction with myself and my life the way it is. It has also helped me to expand my horizons and learn how to be even happier. It's a great program. Currently I'm working on the paid track 'Get Motivated to Get Fit'. Right now it's exactly what I need - a way to focus on my health without  wanting to rip my hair out. It helps me take baby steps to get better and healthier.

I have not been paid to talk about this. I just love this site so much that I feel everyone should know about it - especially now that it's completely open to the public :) I know a lot of women in my shoes, whether they have PCOS, depression, fibromyalgia, whatever, we can all use a little more happiness in our lives. If you've been struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, or the sun on a gloomy day, check out  Happify  It certainly won't hurt to try it :)

Monday, October 21, 2013

Weekends aren't supposed to be exhausting. That's what we have weekdays for.

This weekend was... eventful. I was sick and in bed til 6 pm on Sat. Got a call that my grandparents were selling my car - which meant that they cleaned it out. My grandfather has a tendency to just trash stuff without any regard to what it could be (just last week he recycled an entire box of important paperwork and MONEY of Mom's...) I had to scramble to get dressed and make sure that he wasn't selling my car for 20 bucks. Someone has been knocking on my grandparent's door every few days saying they want to buy it. I knew that if they kept coming back it was because no one would tell them what was wrong with it. Anyways, I get there Sat, wait for Mom to call the people, only to find out they wouldn't come til Sunday morning. So Sunday morning I drag myself out of bed, get to my grandparents house, and wait for the people. They get there, and after 30 min of looking at the car they decide it's not worth the money to fix. DUH. If it was, I would have fixed it!!! A new engine, or even a refurbished one, is too expensive for the car when I can go get a newer one for the same price.

The fun part of the weekend was playing with my new phone, because I finally got a smartphone. Hubs decided after playing with mine that he wanted the same one. We ordered his, as well as some awesome cases. Mine has polka dots, and it's a set of 4 so I can change them depending on my mood lol. I also worked in the yard, getting a small stone path and lots of pansies planted. Spike likes the path, it's just his size :)

This week I'm starting a new dinner plan. I've got tons of produce due to upgrading my share size from Urban Acres, and I really don't want them to go to waste. I've got lots of new recipes to try out, and I made sure they won't require a ton of prep, since I really can't handle that. The box came loaded with green beans, black eyes peas, tatsoi, sweet potatoes and lettuce, among others. And the asparagus was super cheap at the grocery store, so I got 3 bundles. We'll be eating a lot of veggies for the next week or two. I'm getting back on track now that I have a smartphone and can use apps. (I think I should look for a recipe one while I'm at it...) Dinner tonight is going to be quinoa with asparagus cream sauce and a salad. Yummy!

 I need someone to help me clean and organize my kitchen so I can make life easier. Eventually it'll get done. I did reorganize my freezer and put in wire shelves. Hubs opened it after I rearranged and he didn't have words. He was shocked when he opened it. It was hilarious.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I'm back to square 1, but this time I will succeed!

Yesterday was payday. It was also the day I finally gave in and ordered a smartphone. I'm hoping that it'll provide me with tools I need to keep myself accountable. I got the Nokia Lumia 920, because it has a good camera and it's a Windows phone operating system. I figured that since the reviews were great and I never hear anyone say anything bad about them, I might as well try it out. If I don't like it, I can return it and try a different phone. I wanted the new 41 megapixel camera, but I didn't want to spend the money on it. I can just get it when the prices drop.

I've tried the tracking of foods and exercise via a planner, but I just can't remember to do it all the time. So maybe apps can help. I started green coffee bean extract today. After doing research into weight loss like Plexus Slim and ACE, green coffee bean is what they all have in common. So I figured I could give it a try. I also ordered an mp3 player and a small exercise ball so I can start barre3. It's too bad that they don't yet have an app for my new phone.

I just found a groupon for a company called GoPicnic. They have prepacked lunches for all sorts of dietary needs - gluten, vegan, kosher, etc. The groupon was $19 for a $40 gift certificate. I've tried these meals before, and loved them, but hated the price. They're about $5 a meal. But with this groupon, I got them $3.80 including shipping. Definitely a better deal, and I don't have to spend the gas to drive to the right grocery store. This will also help me get on track because I can bring them all up to the office for lunch. They don't require refrigeration, yay! I think I need to clear out a shelf somewhere in the office to hold all my food. And then keep an inventory list so I can make sure the cleaning crew doesn't steal any... :)

I upgraded my Urban Acres membership from a mini-share to a half share - getting me a lot more produce to use. My hope is that it'll force me to cook more healthy meals. It'll reduce the amount of produce I need to buy at the grocery store. It also forces me to cook things in season. That's a really big thing for me - I want to get to the point that I'm getting produce only from Urban Acres and the farmer's market. Essentially that would leave only meat and bulk items on my grocery list. I'm excited. I feel like I can do it. I think hitting my highest weight is going to get me back on track. I'm not happy that I've gained all the weight that I lost back, so I'm going full force and changing my life again.

Here's to good thoughts and much success!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Organic vs Regular produce

I've learned some interesting things in the last few months. I wrote about my decision to join an organic produce program through Urban Acres. Every two weeks I get a bag of organic fruits and veggies. I've always loved fruits like nectarines, mangoes, apples and bananas. I didn't realize that I wasn't getting the true taste of these fruits until the program. I now know that organic produce tastes so much better. It has led me to the conclusion that I'm going to attempt to go as organic as possible with all of my shopping. I've hated the idea of bad pesticides, but I've let my wallet make the decisions. From now on, if buying organic means buying less, then so be it. After organic, I really don't think that I can truly enjoy my favorite fruits if they aren't organic. So this decision reinforces my previous desire to shop at farmer's markets for produce. I've wanted to adjust myself to eating produce in season, and that's the way to do it. This also forces me to learn new recipes and eat things I wouldn't necessarily eat otherwise. And I'm starting this Saturday, provided I get paid. It'll be an adjustment to get up that early on a weekend, but it's best for my health and Hubs'. Because one way or another, I'm going to get him eating healthy too. Otherwise he'll have to cook his own meals :)

I also want to use this opportunity to try out raw, paleo, vegan, vegetarian and clean meals. I found an awesome vegetarian cookbook on clearance at Half Price Books. It's got 350 recipes to try out. I've also still got my eMeals subscription that sends me meal plans every week. I've started changing the meal types every couple of months so I can try out lots of different plans.

I'm at my tipping point again. I don't want to weigh almost 260 pounds anymore. I want to be able to enjoy my life that way I was meant to. And it starts with food. I'm working on the exercise too, but baby steps are needed so my fibromyalgia doesn't flare up and land me back in bed.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

28 to Great

I friend of mine, ACE, spent the last two years changing her life. She lost ~80 pounds in doing it, and she looks fabulous. She did it by changing her diet and finding an exercise program that she loved. Something she became almost addicted to - barre3. A combination of ballet, yoga and Pilates.

I believe that part of my problem is my lack of LOVE for exercise. I haven't found something I enjoy so much that I want to do it everyday, instead of need to do it. I like walking. The scenery is pretty and the walking is easy. Just put one foot in front of the other. But I don't get the joy out of it like I would hope. So I'm going to try something new, and I bet ACE is going to be happy to hear it :)

barre3 has a program called 28 to Great. 6 online workouts a week for 4 weeks. The workouts range from 10 to 60 minutes. And access to it is only $15 a month. 50 cents a day to try something that I might fall in love with. So as soon as I get paid, I'm signing up. And in a little over a month, we'll see how far I've come. Who knows... Maybe I'll get hooked like ACE. :)

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Goals vs Plans vs Spontaneity

I've decided that planning and I really don't get along. It ends up making me upset that I didn't stick to it 100%. So I'm going to live spontaneously. The weather is beautiful, and I'm really happy about it. I can get back to walking without roasting. We went for a walk last night. Although I had to make frequent pit stops to sit, We still got in at least half a mile, if not a full mile. I'm going to walk again tonight. Maybe I'll even attempt to walk Spike to the dog park so he can play.

This idea of living spontaneously is not new to me, but I've never really followed through with it. That needs to change. But I'm not planning. Because planning to be spontaneous defeats the purpose. I'm not going to be dumb like some of the YOLO kids (you only live once), but I am going to enjoy life, day by day, and forget the big picture for a while. Once I get my life straightened out I'll go back to worrying about the big pic.

Of course, I've always been a planner, so getting away from plans is going to be difficult. So I have some suggestions for myself instead of plans. Such as:

- Drinking at least 8 glasses of water a day
- Walk around the pond or apt complex frequently
- Eat healthy, such as salads and other white-carb-less foods
- Get back to yoga

So those are goals, not plans. And I won't let them bring me down, because they aren't plans. I'm really trying to get rid of plans, aren't I?

It's still illegal to strangle someone, isn't it?

Over the weekend, Hubs got into a confrontation with a neighbor. I've written about her before - she bitched at me for not working while my rheumatoid arthritis was at its worst. Her reasoning? "I worked full time as a waitress while doing chemo for breast cancer and I was all alone!" (prev post Understanding)

Since that incident, I have stayed away from her completely. I don't need someone that toxic in my circle of friends.

This weekend, Hubs was hanging out with some neighbors when the aforementioned person joined. It was obvious that she had been drinking. She proceeded to grill Hubs with questions like 'You don't have a job, you stay at home all the time, what the hell does Lynne see in you? Why is she staying with you?'

Since I've been back on my bipolar meds, I haven't been getting angry. But hearing this as Hubs told me, I was pissed. Mainly because my decisions and reasoning for staying with MY HUSBAND are MINE alone. It shouldn't matter to anyone else. But I was mad for more than just her asking the question. It was the grilling. She wouldn't leave him alone and kept asking him. The other neighbors did everything they could to stay out of it, even though she kept trying to drag them in.

I realize that there are plenty of people in the world that believe they are right and everyone else is wrong, and this is a good example of a person like this.

This reminded me of the first time I met Hubs' grandfather. He had no problem getting in my face and telling me I was an idiot to be in a relationship with a man that didn't have a job. And he did it on Thanksgiving, in front of the rest of the family. I'll admit that there are relationships that my friends/family have that I just don't understand. So maybe I have no right to criticize someone else for judging me. But I don't get in their faces and tell them they are an idiot, or pressure them to give me an answer on why they are in it.

Wow, it's nice to get those feelings off my back, and for someone else, other than Hubs, to hear them. Now I'm going to walk off the rest of my frustrations with Mom and Hubs and take pretty pictures of the sunset at the park.

Monday, October 7, 2013

OMG It's October!

It's October :) My favorite month of the year. I love it more than March, when most of my family's birthdays are. why?

1) The weather has cooled off and we can hang out outside without baking.
2) I finally won Hubs' full attention - 6 years ago.
3) Our wedding anniversary of 4 years :)
4) I get to decorate the house for Halloween!
5) Our favorite holiday of the year! HALLOWEEN!
6) Our wedding anniversary - on Halloween!

Did I mention that I love Halloween? I picked up a few more skeletons because Senor LazyBones, our first skeleton, was lonely. I added a glittery skeleton named Mr. Ritz. I have two more that have yet to be named. Last year we bought Skully, a skeleton flamingo. Sadly, there was only one, and Hubs was upset. When I found another one a few weeks ago, Mulder joined our family. Hubs was very happy, and surprised!

Since this is such an important month, I've decided to make goals in 3 different categories.

- Clear the dining room table
- Eat at the dinner table with Hubs at least two nights a week.
- Spend at least 30 minutes a day on my porch - tending plants, sitting on my bench, playing with Spike, whatever.

- Reinstate Saturday date night. TV is not allowed.
- Make sure to say 'I love you' more than I do already, which is a lot!

- Quit coffee and replace it with water
- Start walking around the pond again.