Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Lighting a fire under under my ass...

Today I got the news I had been expecting/dreading for the last few weeks. My bosses want me to start working more hours, and getting in earlier. I completely understand where they are coming from. I need to be more dependable. I partially blame my medications. When I take them at night, they make me sleep like a rock. To the point that a dozen alarms don't help at all. I have decided to take my meds much earlier at night to see if that helps. I figure it will. I've been staying up late so I can spend time with Hubs, but it's causing issues with work. If I start working earlier in the day, I'll have more time in the evenings with him. So if I have to spend a few nights without his company, so be it. It's what is best for us right now, and sometimes we have to make sacrifices.

I have also enlisted the help of some friends to blow up my phone in the mornings. I'm going to find the most annoying ringtone I can and set it for these friends.

So we'll see in the next week or two if I can succeed. Otherwise I'll have to start looking for another job and I don't see that going so well.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Starting Fat Ass Friday, Again.

I need to talk about weight a little. I got on the scale today because I knew I had gained weight. There's no way I hadn't, considering the number of donuts consumed in the last month or two. When the really good ones are only 50 cents a piece and you have no self control, it's hard not to be surprised. My lowest weight in the last year was 225. I'm back up to 242, and I almost started crying. But yesterday I put on one of my favorite shirts, straight out of the dryer, and realized it has never fit me so loosely. Hubs said he's been trying to tell me I've lost inches. Apparently when we got together, he could barely touch his fingers together during a hug - I know how that feels because I couldn't feel my fingers when I hugged my ex. He said that now he can almost interlace his fingers during a hug. It made me feel really good.

So, screw the scale. I'm going to focus on measurements instead. My new best friend Kat is doing that too. She already threw her scale away. I don't think I can part with mine just yet, but I'm not going to use it as an accurate picture of my body health. Compared to a lot of others, I really don't look like I weight as much as I do. I know people who weigh 40 pounds less and aren't anywhere close to fitting the same sizes as I wear.

So I'm going to start participating in the Fat Ass Friday link up again, but I'm not focusing on weight - rather, how much I worked out.

You can join me and the other ladies!

Monday, April 1, 2013

Soul mate :)

I've only written this post a million times, but my computer keeps crashing, and since I write it all in notepad, I lose it. But every time I write it, it comes out a little different.

I want to write about soul mates. I know that may seem a little cheesy, but it's my blog, so I can write about whatever I want :)

When I got married the first time, I didn't really know what I was in for. We had lived together for a little while, and it had worked, so I assumed that it would stay that way. But we hadn't gone through too many issues yet. We hadn't lived on our own with no money. When we got married, I had this great little apartment, and he had a good job. But we decided to move back to Texas so he could spend time with his son. And from there, things went haywire. He lost a job because he stole money, had his child taken away because he refused to help with housework or potty-train the dog. After 1.5 years married, I realized that things weren't going to change, I wasn't truly in love with him, and I needed to get out before I got pregnant and was stuck with him for 18 years. I know that sounds bad for me to say, but it really was the right choice for both of us.

So along came husband #2. Although we have lived together essentially from the day we got together, I waited 2 years before marrying him. I needed to be sure that things were going to work out. Those two years living together were like a trial marriage. And although we had our issues, Halloween 2009 made it official. I knew that he was the 'One'. I've never been so truly comfortable with anyone else. But it wasn't until just a couple of weeks ago that I realized he as my soul mate. We were sitting in bed, playing with our dog, and it just sort of hit me. I can't really describe it. It was just like a light switch had been turned on. Or maybe a big flashing billboard over his head that said 'Soul Mate!' For 5.5 years, we have been through very difficult things, from health problems to job loss, and he's still by my side. He could have left when my body started falling apart. He could have left me when I was out of work. Instead, he started helping me even more - bringing me food/drink so I didn't have to get up when I was in pain. He makes sure I take all of my medications. He even cooks for me, albeit he uses the microwave. And he is my life-long built-in entertainment :) I can be horribly depressed, and he can still make me laugh. It's his goal, too. He has put up with me through good times and bad times. He supports me in anything I want to do. He drives me to and from work. He helps me raise awareness for PCOS. Oddly enough, he has been really good about getting random women to talk about their cycles, and helping them find Power Up for PCOS. I never thought that real love would be like this.

I don't really think I have provided any useful information for others on their hunt to find their soul mate. I'm just glad I realized it, and can't wait to see what our future holds. Whether it's good or bad, we'll deal with it together.