I've been thinking and soul-searching and second-guessing and planning and hoping, as I always do. I need to stop thinking about the future and start focusing on today. I need to find ways to be happy just for today, so I can slowly grow out of this pessimistic lifestyle. It's only hurting and hindering me.
There's been a thought in the back of my head for a long while - I need to reconnect with my inner spirituality. Obviously, since I'm not Christian, that can make it slightly more difficult. But I've found a large group of Pagans near me, and I think that's where I need to start. For the last 10+ years, I've known that being Pagan is right for me. But I don't have anyone to share that with, besides hubs.
Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, I was going to church 3 times a week. The last time I went to a religious gathering was 8 years ago, when I took my ex-stepson to an all-day Witness function. 8 years. I know that there are a lot (like millions) of people that can go that long without it. But I can't. I need some sort of deeper connection to others. So I'm waiting to find a function this group hosts so I can attend. If I go and don't like it, ok. But I have to give it a shot.
I googled 'questions to learn more about yourself' and found hundreds. I bought a large blank journal last night, and I'm going to answer all those questions, one by one. I think it will be interesting to see my responses as time goes on. It can't hurt to get to know myself, right? I don't know if I'll be posting my answers here or not. Maybe some, but probably not all of them.
This weekend is a big weekend. I'm calling it the 'Lynne is Totally Awesome' project. I'm decorating a friend's new office space, and I'm hoping to complete it all this weekend. It's a big project, but I have hubs for manual labor, and I get to set the budget. I made a huge list of to-do's, to-buy's, and to-pack. I believe in myself. I'll be taking pictures before, during and after. Maybe I'll post them.
Well, that's my thoughts for today. We'll see how the weekend goes.