Tuesday, January 29, 2013

What kind of mom will I be?

If things go the way we have planned, hubs and I could be parents by the end of 2015. I know that sounds like a long time, and to me, it is. But with our plans, I think it'll happen, and it's a lot sooner than it would be if we were adopting.

Plan A - Spend all of 2013 focused on my health and weight loss, so we can start using a sperm donor in 2014. My dad might not want to hear this, but oh well. I'm going to be a mother and you are going to be a grandfather, whether you like it or not :)
Plan B - A secret :) This is still a little up in the air, so I don't want to talk about it yet.

I brought this up because a lot of things have been on my mind lately. A very good friend of mine is pregnant, so we have been talking a lot about how we want to raise our kids. Hubs and I have always known we were going to homeschool, but what about when they are babies? Normal people probably don't think about stuff like this before they are preggo. But I'm not normal. I think that it really helps to have discussions about child-rearing if you are in a long-term relationship. Sometimes the differences in opinions can cause huge problems, and I believe it would be easier to end a relationship before marriage  rather than after (mainly because I've gone through a divorce and it sucks). I was glad to learn that hubs and I had a lot of the same beliefs... And the ones that we didn't agree on quickly changed once we did our research. I've determined that I don't obsess over something nearly as much if I write it down, so that's what I'm doing.

How we will raise our children -
If we have a boy, we are not circumcising. The old wive's tales about circumcision being cleaner - a lie. Doesn't harm the baby - a lie. When we first started talking about this, hubs wanted to circumcise, because he was taught that it was difficult to clean. We read some articles about that myth, and he changed his mind. I became even more interested in leaving baby intact when I learned about how the process is done. They don't give babies anesthesia  The give them a paralytic so they can't move. Bet you didn't know that, did you? Think about a sensitive area of your body being chopped off without anesthesia  Wouldn't do it, right? So why subject poor little baby to it?

We will co-sleep. There are several reasons for this. It is difficult for me to get out of bed quickly due to the RA and fibro. It will be a lot easier for me to care for baby if I don't have to get out of bed. The newer research about co-sleeping also shows higher self-esteem in children, increased life satisfaction and more positive behavior. I could go on and on about this.

We will baby-wear. I don't buy into the myth that babies will become too attached if we always hold them. A study in Pediatrics found that baby-wearing for just 3 hours a day reduced infant crying up to 50%. It also helps reduce the possibility of postpartum depression, which is a big deal for me. It also eliminates the need for dragging strollers around. And all-in-all, it just brings baby closer to parents.
We will breastfeed. Even if I don't end up carrying a child of my own, I will still breastfeed. It's a bonding experience between baby and mom. It's healthier than formula, and much cheaper. There are methods to induce lactation, and there are groups that donate breastmilk to women that have adopted or are unable to breastfeed on their own. No reason for me to not BF.

We will cloth diaper. A friend of mine said she was definitely cloth diapering because they can't afford the major expense of disposable diapers. Although that is one of our reasons, it's not the only one. Cloth is more comfortable. There's a reason we don't buy plastic underwear for ourselves. It helps you learn your baby's habits.

We will not practice the 'Cry It Out' method. Babies cry because something is wrong. I will not teach my little one that crying is useless. I will not let my little one get the idea that I don't feel her needs are important. I will learn my baby's cues for food so she never has to scream for it. I had never thought about this until I read it, but babies show signs of hunger long before the screaming. The screaming usually indicates that that poor thing is starving, because we waited too long to feed them. I'm not going to force my baby into some ridiculous feeding schedule. Babies have little tummies. They need food a lot more often than we do.

We will make our own baby food. Making baby food isn't hard. It requires a blender and a strainer. There won't be a need to buy jars of food when I can make baby food with our dinner. If we are going to eat green beans, so will baby.

I'm sure there are more things we will decide as time goes on. I also know that I'll be belittled by some family about the choices we have made on raising our children. And when that happens, I'll be ready to back up our choice, because it's OUR choice.

Monday, January 28, 2013

No restrictions, no excuses - just success.

I haven't updated a lot since I made my new year's resolution. So far, I'm not doing as well as I had hoped, but I'm doing better than nothing.

Last week I did 2 yoga sessions, one 1/2 mile lap around the park, and 100 crunches. I succeeded in working out 3 days. Yay! Since it is getting warmer, I'm planning to do the lap around the park more often. Hubs and I used to go often last year, but stopped when it got too cold. Now we have to get back in the swing of things, and I think we can.

I was upset at my weigh-in last night, because I had gone up a pound. But I'm going to try to focus my goals on what I'm doing, not what I'm weighing. This week's goal is to work out at least 3 days, and at least 30 min sessions. No restrictions, no excuses - just success.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Getting over self-sabotage...

I've become increasingly frustrated with myself. I make plans, but don't follow through with them. I join weight loss challenges, but I don't workout. I buy healthy food and watch it rot. I believe these are valid frustrations. And when I get mad at myself, I self-sabotage. Like half a dozen donuts and chinese takeout.

Today I'm reminding myself of all the good changes I have made.

1) Switched to all-natural shampoo and conditioner - My hair has never looked better and cleaner. And I don't think I'm losing as much as I used to.
2) Switched to all-natural deodorant - No more cysts under my arms. Yay!!!
3) Switched to homemade laundry soap - clothes are cleaner, and saved a decent amount of money.
4) Switched to all-natural bar soap - Just feel cleaner.
5) Quit smoking - This is big. I started smoking at 12-13. I officially quit in Aug 2011. After 10 years, I quit cold turkey. Sadly, I recently started smoking again, 1 or 2 cigs a day, if that. So I need to quit again. And that will be easy.
6) Lost 20+ pounds - Although I have gained some of the weight I lost back, I'm still 20 pounds less than my starting weight.
7) I can do yoga moves that I thought I'd never be able to do.
8) I have broadened my produce horizons - I have a new-found love of veggies that I thought I hated, like zucchini and squash.
9) I went to the rheumatologist - and after finally getting diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia, I know what is wrong with me physically. And I can wear my wedding ring again. I am on medications to make life easier, and they have. I can work again, and I the back pain that left me crippled is now managed, and I can make it through the day now.
10) I went to a new psychiatrist - We are working on finding the right combination of drugs to get me out of this depressive episode and back to being relatively normal. And the anger issues that have caused me to, on multiple occasions, leave my husband don't exist anymore. We have a better relationship now, and I don't have the constant worry that one day my marriage will end.
11) Opened up about my illnesses - I have met so many wonderful women since I started finding facebook groups for my different issues. I have a large, albeit online, support system that knows what I am going through.
12) Decided to manage PCOS naturally - I've been able to have a regular cycle for 2+ years now. Who knows, maybe I've even begun to ovulate again. Maybe we could start the search for a sperm donor...

I'm sure if I thought about it for a while, I could think of more. But the whole point of this is to remind myself that even when I don't feel motivated to do something, I am still better off than I was before, and I just have to push myself a little harder. We'll see how this goes.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

My New Year's Resolution - Become a MILF

I know that sounds por.no-ish, but I don't care. I want to be hot and sexy by the end of the year, and I'd love to be a mom. So if we combine those, you get a MILF. (Mother I'd like to F***, for those of you that are wondering) I want to lose at least 50 pounds, which averages out to 1 pound a week. I don't see why that would be too hard.

My exercise/workout plans -
Couch to 5K program with my husband. It's designed to get you RUNNING a 5K in 9 weeks. I'm hoping that this will be good for me and the hubby. He hasn't really been able to run since he got shot 6 yrs ago. I figured if we went slow, this would be like rehab for him, and he will be able to run again (or at least walk easier.)
Yoga EVERY DAY. Leanne, a fabulous food blogger at HealthfulPursuit.com, did a 30-day challenge, where she did yoga every day, no matter how she felt. And she realized that the days that she didn't want to go were the days she really needed it the most. And when I was doing yoga regularly, I felt great. So I'm doing my own challenge. I will do at least a 30-day challenge. I hope to make it a habit so I'll end up doing it every day without forcing myself.
GYM - We have a free gym in our apt complex. I just haven't used it. No more excuses. I'll go to the gym at least 2 times a week. I'll alternate the type of workout I do so I don't get bored. I know we have a stationary bike and weightlifting equipment. I read somewhere that cycling does more for diabetics than walking does, and I'm going to be diabetic if I don't change. I figure that it'll be easier for me to do cycling because I won't have to be standing.

Usually these exercise plans fall by the wayside because I sit down and start watching TV. So from now on, I will not turn the tv on until I have finished my workout.

My food plans -
I'm just going to start eating healthier again. I've done fairly well this week - eating a lot of salad and greens, while reducing sugar intake. I really wanted a donut a couple of days ago, but I resisted, and I'm so proud of myself. I'm learning new ways to make salads, so they don't get boring.

I know that this all sounds like something I've said before. And I would agree. I've said I was going to change my life, and not followed through. And that's a fear of mine. But I have to learn to ignore my fears if I want to change my life. I have no valid reasons or excuses for not doing it. So I'm going to kick my ass in gear - and I've got a lot of friends backing me up, supporting me, fighting for their health as well. This is our year.
We will be MILFs.