Friday, December 7, 2012

Getting To Know Myself - Day 1


How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Certainly not 24. I really don't feel like a 24 year old. I often get frustrated that I haven't even lived for half a century and I have 4 life-long illnesses. Some of which will increase in severity as life goes on. My Wii Fit told me once that I was 71 years old, and I cried. I don't want to think that I'm 71 until I'm actually 71.
But that's not answering the question. If I didn't know how old I was, and I based it off of normal people, I'd guess I was in my 30s. Some of that is due to being sick. But I have also been through a divorce and a second marriage, raised twin infants and a toddler, and held down long term positions at just a couple of companies.

I used to think that being 20-something would be awesome. Friends and family have said that it can be the best time period of my life. I don't know if I'm holding myself back from enjoying my 20s, or if everything I've dealt with in life has forced the 20s time period away completely. Or maybe I have the wrong idea about what my 20s are supposed to contain. When I was younger, I had planned to be done having kids by the time I was 25. I'll be lucky if we get to start trying to have kids again by 25. (Shit. That's only 3 months away.) Of course, it really doesn't help that I've spent most of my 20s depressed and unmedicated. Maybe now that I'm back on my meds and actually feeling like doing stuff, the second half of the decade will be better.

Disclaimer: If you don't like what I have to say, that's fine. You are entitled to your own opinion, just as I am. And if you want to respond to anything I have said, I welcome your comments. However, if you want to comment solely to bash me or my opinions and beliefs, don't. I'll just delete it.

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