Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Results of an online test...

This was from depressiontest.com. I found it and was curious as to what it would say about me. Even the internet understands me more than my family - apparently the belief that I am a hypochondriac is still prevalent. How is someone supposed to get better when their support system thinks they are full of crap?
DisorderYour Score
Major Depression:Extremely High
Bipolar Disorder:High
Cyclothymia:Very High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:Moderate
Postpartum Depression:N/A
Take the Depression Test

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Salmon and Roasted Cherries

This has to be the best recipe I've come up with for fish, ever. It's that good. Even the husband loves it. Sorry for not having pics - my food pics just don't do the recipe justice.

Cherries are loaded with antioxidants and are also low carb and low GI. Salmon is loaded with omega-3s. It's a very PCOS-friendly recipe!

Salmon and Roasted Cherries
Servings - 2

2 salmon fillets
2/3 cup cherries, pitted and halved
juice of one lemon
1 tbsp agave nectar
1 tbsp fresh thyme
1/2 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350. In small bowl, mix cherries, lemon juice, agave nectar, thyme and salt. Let sit 10 min so flavors can meld together. Place salmon fillets skin side down on a parchment paper or foil lined baking pan. Top salmon with cherry mixture. Bake for 12-15 minutes, or until salmon almost cooked. Switch oven to broil and broil for 2-3 minutes, just enough time to caramelize cherries. Remove from oven and let stand for 5 minutes. Plate and enjoy!

Modifications/Variations - I also added some halved green grapes, but the flavor didn't come through, so you can leave them out. To add some crunch, toasted walnuts, pecans or pistachios would be yummy! To add some green into your dish, serve the fish and cherries over arugula, and drizzle the pan sauce as dressing!

My husband didn't eat fish at all until I started making it for him. Now he loves it, and he said this was "FANTASTIC!"

Nutritional Facts:
Serving Size: 1 salmon fillet and 1/3 c roasted cherries
Calories - 203
Carbs - 20
Fat - 4
Protein - 24

You can lower the carbs by reducing the amount of agave nectar.


Friday, July 13, 2012

If I try hard enough, it's possible.

I love reading blog posts from Monika at inCYST, especially when they are directed towards our husbands. It was about their ability to make our lifestyle/dietary changes difficult, whether they mean to or not. I made my husband read it, because it describes exactly how I feel. He tries to be supportive of me, and for the most part, he is. But there are some situations that cause trouble. I've told him before that I would like to attempt going vegetarian for a week or two, just to see how I feel on it. He's insistent that the only way he can get protein is from meat. I've learned that I don't have the willpower needed to make two separate meals. He is also slightly underweight, so eating what I eat makes him think he's going to lose weight (and he probably would, if I didn't make sure he had pecan spinwheels and honeybuns to snack on). He also doesn't initiate exercise - but he'll work out with me if I start it. "I bought you a home gym, workout games, etc. What more do you want from me?" I know I need someone to 'force' me to get up and do something, and he doesn't do that. He's afraid of pestering me and pissing me off - which I completely understand.

But I need to change. I don't have a choice. I'm not healthy, and I can't live like this forever. I don't have any valid reasons for my inactivity - just excuses. Hubs pulled my home gym out of the closet last night and set it up in the middle of the living room. He did this to prove my claim that there "wasn't any room in the house because every room is so cluttered" was false. And what did I do? Spent an hour working out on it last night. And I can watch tv while I do it. And Hubs likes watching me work out. He told me when we first bought the gym that he thought watching me workout was sexy. Of course it's sexy - I'm half clothed and sweaty. So I have to make this change. I weighed in at 228 today. I'm not going to weigh in often, probably no more than every other week - because I need to stop focusing on that stupid number. I'm just going to focus on using my gym every night while I watch tv. And I'm going to attempt to spend some time this weekend making food for next week. I've got plenty of tupperware and my fridge is stocked with veggies (that will ruin if I don't do something soon). I can do this.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Monthly Goal Blog Hop

I figured I needed to do this to hold myself accountable. Okay, that was a crappy reason, but I'm sticking with it until I come up with one better.

July Goals: 
Eliminate soda - again.
Walk at least a mile twice a week (2.5+ laps around BBR pond)
3 days without red meat, pork or poultry
1 week without eating anything on my sensitivity list
Start oil-pulling again
Take my vitamins and meds EVERY DAY
Rearrange dining room and living room
Attend a transcendental meditation info session
Listen to my Circle+Bloom mind-body meditation sessions 3+ times a week
Complete and sell some of the crafts piling up in the bedroom

I know that these are not difficult goals - I just have to decide that they are more important than whatever it is I'm doing now.

Good things that happened lately... AKA Forced Optimism

When I was in middle school, I had a poster of a sad little puppy that said 'Why do they only remember when I'm bad?'. I'm kicking myself for just now realizing that I was pessimistic even way back then - which is a pretty sad realization. I looked at the glass as half-empty at 12. Holy shit. I guess watching my mother turn into a lifeless lump of skin after my dad left really did screw me up. Of course it doesn't help that I am turning out more and more like my mother every day.

But anyways - my current line of thinking (likely solely due to it being 5:30am and I'm not asleep yet) is that I can stop being pessimistic by forcing myself to remember the good things that happen. Or maybe I'm just going to start writing a list so I don't forget. Whatever.

Good things that happened recently:

1) I went back to my old job last week to see if I could start working again. The RA and fibro meds I'm on are helping to some extent, and obviously I've been able to start typing more. I figured I needed to test my fingers out in a professional environment - because I shouldn't even compare writing code to writing a blog. The most logical choice was to go back to the last company I worked for, since they already knew I had so many medical issues to deal with. Result? I'm back at work, part time, 3 half days a week. Oh, how I've missed closing the blinds in my office so I don't have to stare at the monstrosity that is the Cowboys' Stadium. My brother-in-law calls it the 'Giant Pimple'. (Ok, I kinda missed working, too.)

2) My wedding ring is on my damn finger. I almost cried tears of joy when I put it on. I hadn't tried to put it on recently because I didn't want to be disappointed. Hubs asked me a few nights ago if it fit again, so I tried it. Who knew that wearing this tiny piece of metal really meant so much to me? They are still too swollen to wear my engagement ring with it like I used to, but I am hopeful that will change in the near future.  After i found out it fit, I spent 30 minutes scouring the office for my jewelry polishing cloth (the joys of having a silver ring). Gave up. Found it in bathroom cabinet 2 days later. *facepalm*

See, you can even tell my how wrinkly my knuckles are! The more wrinkly, the better!

3) By noon Saturday, Spike will have his rabies shot and I can take him to the groomer. The poor thing needs a hair-cut so he can play outside longer. These 90+ degree days are hell, but I'm thankful that it's July and we haven't had official triple-digit weather yet.

4) We went over to a neighbor's for game/date night. We played dominoes and farkle and it was fun. Imagine that - I had fun! Fun can be such a foreign concept at times. Hubs has been upset lately that I don't want to go out, so I think that tonight made him happy.

5) I found Jenny Lawson, the Bloggess. That chick is awesome. She has made me laugh. She made Hubs laugh. She battles with depression and rheumatoid arthritis as well. She makes me remember that I have a sense of humor. I know I used to be funny, great with the witty comebacks. The PCOS brain fog really tried to screw that up - but I've been fighting back with DHA in food and pill form.

6) I finally made valance curtains for the living room and kitchen windows! I've had the fabric since we moved in almost 2 years ago, but never got around to it - until now!!! They were super simple, and they are so pretty. I love them and don't think I could bought better curtains.

Living room valance
Living room close up
Kitchen valance
Detail on kitchen valance

I think that's a pretty damn good list for just a little over a week. And now that this list is done, I'm onto the next one. 'Cheap shit we want but won't get for ourselves anytime soon'.