Thursday, June 2, 2011

What's Your Song? Thursday Link Up

This week has just been... rough. It started over the weekend. Mom and I spent a lot of time, money and effort in organizing my kitchen and cooking a ton of food. Sadly, cooking, as much as I love it, has become a major pain for me in the past couple of years, and even more so in the last 6 months. I have been dealing with a lot of back pain, and it is at the point where I cannot stand in one place for more than 10 minutes before I collapse in pain. And when I mean collapse, I'm not kidding. Knees hit the floor, tears start streaming down my face, and I lean on the object closest to me, hoping that the waves of pain along my spine will go away. Doctors have no idea what's wrong, x-rays don't show any problems, and the chiropractor claimed I had 4 pinched ligaments, but I can't afford to go to him twice a week to get adjustments (especially when the last time I went, I was in pain for a week afterwards). I did a lot of cooking while sitting down this weekend to ease the pain, but my back has been aching ever since.

Then I have been extremely busy at work, trying to get a project finished and 100% working. This comes right at a time when I have an interview with another company for a better job - more money and benefits! I had the interview yesterday, thought it went fantastic, and then got a call today from the recruiter saying that I didn't get the job. Well damn. At least I still have this job. (I was a little hesitant about getting a new job anyway, because the guys here are so flexible, and I love being able to wear jeans and a baseball hat.)

The hubby texts me today to tell me that he is really sick. He is a trooper when he's sick, but I have forced him to be that way. I don't have a driver's license atm, so he's my chauffer. He knows that he has to come get me from work, unless he's just dying - then I call my mom. He never complains. All he wants in return is to cuddle when we get home. Yes, ladies, my husband LOVES to cuddle. I got so lucky :)

And the worst part of the week came in the form of a text from my mom at 6:30 this morning. Back in September of last year, my 99 yr-old great-grandmother, Mamaw, passed away, just days before I was scheduled to take off work and visit her one more time. I hadn't seen her in 5 years. It made me feel horrible, and I was depressed for weeks. Mamaw was an awesome person. She had a huge garden, and worked in that until just a few years before she died. At 95, she was still getting on her roof to clean out her gutters. She also took care of her daughter, Bobby. Bobby had a laundry list of health problems, and couldn't take care of herself. She had difficulty walking, she was narcoleptic, and the list goes on. I'm not even sure what all she had. After Mamaw died, Bobby's brother and sister-in-law, Don and Shirley, took her in and cared for her. Sadly, though, that didn't last long. They got tired of the effort required to take care of her and put her in a nursing home. I would have brought Bobby to live with me, had I had the room and time to take care of her. I cried when I was told she was in a nursing home. A couple of months ago, Bobby was taken to the hospital. She had pneumonia, caused by the nursing home force feeding her Ensure. It was in her lungs. They were literally gagging her with food. No one else in the family cared that she was being mistreated - but I still couldn't do anything about it. Earlier this week she was back in the hospital, and on morphine. She had stopped swallowing, and instead of giving her a feeding tube, the hospital decided that they would just stop feeding her and pump her full of pain meds so she wasn't in pain. From that point, it was just a waiting game. I knew when I woke up this morning that something bad had happened. I could just feel it. I was right. For anyone that believes in Heaven, my Aunt Bobby is now with Mamaw. It's at times like this that I wished I believed in Heaven, so I could believe that she was finally at peace and pain-free.

So my song this week is in honor of my Aunt Bobby.

If you want to join in the blog hop, head over to Goodnight Moon and link up!


  1. This is one of my favorite songs I listen to when I want to remember someone special who has passed.I am truly sorry for your lose & will keep you in prayer.

  2. I'm a heaven believer and will think of you and your Aunt Bobby. So sorry for your loss.

  3. I'm so sorry for your loss, and for you having a bad week. I know what it feels like to lose someone that you wish you spent more time with. I don't know if this helps at all, but this is me sending you an internet hug (*hug*)

  4. Thanks, Amanda and Kelsey :) It's ladies like you that keep me sane sometimes. I posted an 'RIP Aunt Bobby' message on FB and not one of my friends said a thing. I really appreciate the sympathy, especially knowing that you have never met me, and probably never will. It's heart-warming to know that there are wonderful people out there (and that I need to start looking for new friends)

  5. Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry! You sure did have a crazy week. I'm so sorry about your back pain. I can't imagine having that kind of pain to have to live with.

    And until your 99 is a great life! I'm sorry you didn't get to see her right before she passed. She knows that you loved her!

    Sending you hugs! And thank you for linking up such a great song. I love it! And I think this song speaks to all of us for various reasons.

    Sorry I'm just now linking up...I felt like death yesterday.