Friday, April 29, 2011

3.5 years and counting... :)

2007 was a big turning point in my life. Along with the heartbreaking diagnosis of PCOS, I was in school full-time trying to get my Associate's degree and married to an lazy, emotionally abusive husband - we'll call him... Meanie. I was expected to get a full-time job, go to school full-time, take care of his child and keep the house spotless while he sat around and watched tv. For months I put up with it because I loved his son. Then his son's mother called Child Protective Services on us because she hated that Munchkin started calling me Mom before her. CPS determined that we could not have Munchkin back until we took parenting classes, which Meanie refused to take (Now I'm glad I didn't have a child with him). Had I received a little help cleaning from Meanie, or if he had potty-trained the dog like he promised, that wouldn't have happened.

In late June, I met Razure (not real name...). He was a great friend, and hated seeing the way I was treated. He quickly became one of my best friends. When I was having problems with Meanie, I could talk to him about it all. He was in a relationship as well, so I never expected anything to happen between us. I was happy keeping it as friends, for a while. As things became worse with Meanie, Razure and I became closer. He witnessed the abuse I dealt with from Meanie, and was there the day I kicked Meanie out. Once Meanie was out of my life, Razure let his true feelings for me show. I'll admit, I had increasingly grown interested in him since a couple of weeks before I kicked Meanie out, but I never would allow myself to cheat on Meanie. For a short period of time, I was afraid that I was pregnant and it was Meanie's child. Razure even told me that he would claim to be the father and help me take care of the baby so I didn't have to deal with Meanie again. (I ended up not being preggo) The only problem then became how do I get Razure to myself? He had a girlfriend, but they were having problems (obviously because he was cheating on her with me and she knew it) Finally, after breaking up with her, dating me for a week and then going back to her (of course still cheating on her with me), he finally ended their relationship for good on Oct 28. We were hanging out when he broke up with her, but told me that we couldn't make our relationship official until the next day. I understood and agreed, because I didn't want our anniversary to be the same day he broke up with her. So 10 minutes later, once midnight had passed, we were officially together. He moved in with me 2 days later and we've been inseparable ever since.

Now some people would tell me I'm crazy for putting up with this wishy-washy "I'm with you, no, wait... I'm with her" crap. I even told myself I was crazy. But I couldn't shake my feelings for him. I tried, oh how I tried. Deep down, I just knew that I wouldn't be able to forget, and I had to have him for myself. I was a bitch about it, too. I realize that I hurt her, but I did what I had to do to get him. I knew after talking to him for hours every night for at least a month, they didn't have the same values. He wanted to be a dad, and her parents were raising her child because she didn't want her. There's no way that would have ever lasted.

Anyways, I wrote that exceptionally shortened version of how Razure and I got together for one reason. 3 and a half years ago today, we were officially a couple. In the beginning I wondered if he would cheat on me with another girl. "Once a cheater, always a cheater", right? My friends and his friends were secretly curious as well. Then one by one, we all realized that this wasn't just another temporary relationship. This was the real deal. Til death do us part, real. He wants to be the father of my children, even though he knows he can't be biologically related. He treats me like a queen, and never uses it against me like Meanie did. He goes to all of my doctors' appointments. He drives me to work and back every day since I lost my driver's license a year ago. He supports me in any endeavor I attempt. He makes sure I take all of my pills, because I tend to forget. He knows, sometimes even before I do, when I'm sad. He's my best friend, and I'm so glad to have him in my life.

I love you, Hubs, and I'm so glad to have spent the last 3.5 years with you. Here's to the next 3.5 years, and many, many more!

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